


Now Open Late

by emotionalsupporthufflepuff



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heartbreak, Murder, On the Run, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 17:19:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19468555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalsupporthufflepuff/pseuds/emotionalsupporthufflepuff
Summary: In which Tyrion Lannister is on the run after committing a double murder aided by Varys. Neither one is a very good criminal





	Now Open Late

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to George R.R. Martin. I am not GRRM, my therapist has reconfirmed this is theory for me.

Tyrion put out the cigarette out in the cheap plastic motel ashtray and took one last look around the room. The place stank like sex, bleach, and hypocrisy.

“ You can’t date a stripper, Tyrion. Get a real girlfriend and settle down Tyrion. It looks bad for my campaign when you get caught fucking street trash Tyrion.” Well, at least he wouldn’t have to hear that anymore.

Shae’s lifeless corpse was on the threadbare carpet on the side of the bed furthermost from the door, one red plastic high heel still on. Her face still bore the shocked expression with red-painted lips wide open, but the rest of her was stained with brown blood from the gunshot wound right to the heart.

He kicked the bathroom door still half expecting to hear his father berating him from the porcelain throne, but no, he was still dead too. With any luck at all, he would be found in this same extremely undignified position in the morning.

No one called the cops for 2 little gunshots in this part of town. Not if they weren’t being bothered by it themselves. Even if they did it was highly unlikely they would be out here any time soon. So Tyrion checked to make sure he had the key card in his back pocket and checked to make sure the room door was locked before he looked down and swiped his phone. The background was still Shae and him with a sunglasses Snapchat filter. He was kissing her on the cheek while he took the picture. Her shining smile lit up the whole picture and made his heart flutter sadly. A lifetime of mostly dealing in cash had provided well for this moment. He’d found people more pliant for a crisp 20 than a promise. Now stacks of wrapped cash and the empty gun weighed down the bottom of a duffle bag he slung over his shoulder that still barely cleared the ground. He hit the phone icon and called the only person he knew would answer at this hour. As it rang the glow of a sign in the distance caught his eye.

NOW OPEN LATE.

“Tell me why we can’t fly again?” Varys asked settling his large Baja blast into the cup holder closest to him.

Tyrion climbed into the tiny LEAF’s passenger seat, buckled the seatbelt and settled the box of Taco Bell on his lap. The teen behind the cash register had been shocked to see them at 1:50 am demanding a dozen tacos, 10 minutes before closing time. "Because Cersei once blew a guy who works for TSA and now I'm on the no-fly list indefinitely. Fun fact " he handed a wrapped taco to Varys " it takes a lot of time and paperwork to get some on that list for life, but it turns out Cersei's former conquest was very tenacious. " Tyrion unwrapped a taco for himself. " Lucky me. So where are we going exactly and why? "

Varys picked off a stray piece of cheese from his pink polo. " I know a guy who has a friend who can get you a whole new identity. Foolproof. Best in the business "

" And why do we have to go so far? "

Varys stared at him " Oh I'm sorry, do you want to go to prison? That would save us a hell of a lot of time and money."

Tyrion bit into his taco as all the meat fell into the wrapper on his lap. " Fuck! Can't recommend a colleague or...something?"

" You have a terrible idea of how crime works. Identity theft isn't a referral business. " Varys finished the rest of his taco and set to put in an address in the car’s GPS.

“What's in Pentos, Florida?”

“Illyrio Mopatis is who is in Florida. Say goodbye DC.” and he shifted the car into drive.

Tyrion shoved the rest of his taco into his mouth and did a 2 finger salute to the scenery from the window.

 _Leavells, VA_.

“ You should text Shae, you know, something like “ Good morning” just to throw them off a little longer,” Varys said taking the gas station coffee pot off the hotplate and emptying all its contents into the largest plastic cup the shop had to offer.

“Why would I do that? I don’t normally do that.” Tyrion responded, frowning as everything he wanted to drink was out of reach and he was loathed to ask for any help at the present moment. He decided to use a larger water bottle to bat down the Kickstarts he did want.

Varys tutted from behind him .” I don’t want mint or caramel or...cheesecake...in my coffee I just want creamer. Regular boring vanilla cream.” He turned each picked over bottle so the label faced him.

“ Wasn’t that your drag name? Boring vanilla cream?” Tyrion snapped swatting at the drinks.

“Oh stop with the caffeine it makes you cranky.”

But Tyrion waved the neon green can in victory. “Pick a creamer and let's go, we need to put more distance between us.” he snarled again.

“We’re only going to Savannah today. I have some birds I need to check in on and I’ll need an alibi anyway.” Little Birds was the name of the of Varys’ popular drag reviews along the east coast and Tyrion knew it was these that kept his friend flush with cash and gossip. His reluctance to stop wrestled with his desire to keep an ear out for whisperings about Tywin and Shae’s murder.

“Fine. I suppose I need to sleep at some point anyway. But we’ll be in Pentos by the end of the day tomorrow.” Varys poured a copious amount of mint chocolate flavored coffee creamer into his mug and 5 sweet and low packets to follow, going meticulously slow as if the sole purpose of them being there was to watch the vein in Tyrion's forehead grow in anxiety. He scuffed the floor with a loafer and smoothed out his khaki pants taking a small sip to test the temperature of his coffee before Tyrion finally broke. “ Can we please be in Pentos by the end of the day tomorrow? my good friend, my good good, bald, gay friend. “

“I’m not gay and yes we can be if friend Tyrion is nicer to friend Varys who also does not want to go to prison.”

Tyrion did actually feel a pang of guilt at that. “ You’re right. I’m sorry. Let me buy your coffee.”

Varys waved his hand and shuffled to the checkout.

_Emporia, VA_

Varys turned down the volume on the radio that was playing an NPR news report. “ Why did you do it?” he asked not taking his eyes off the road.

“ What? Kill Shae and my father?” Tyrion answered pulling his forehead up from resting on the window.

“Well, I understand why you killed Shae, in theory. But let’s start there, yes.”

Tyrion swallowed and pushed his dirty blonde curls out of his eyes. “ When I opened the door, which wasn’t even locked, by the way, she was laying on the bed in this terrible dress I know she wouldn’t wear on her own, it must have been his idea, all still bunched up around her waist, with no bra or underwear on. She sat up and she...she smiled at me. And I just couldn’t believe...that even though I had found her like that, she couldn’t even be ashamed, or even pretend to be. She just looked at me with those big black doe eyes and said “ Hey.” I was so disgusted with the whole thing, I pointed to gun right at her heart and pulled the trigger before I even understood why. “

Vary’s didn’t say anything for a long moment. He didn’t even take his eyes off the road.

Tyrion went on unable to stop himself. “ I knew he knew exactly what had happened and he didn’t even bother to get off the toilet. I murdered someone in cold blood and still wasn’t worth, literally a shit. It was just as bad as Shae half-naked greeting me with “ Hey.” He was never going to lie for me, he would never ever withhold information to keep me out of prison, even though he’d gladly do the same for Cersei and Jamie. So I shot him too, just to make things fair. " Tyrion traced the seams of the leather stitching of the passenger seat.

The chime of a text message on his phone interrupted the silence. Jamie's black and white Instagram photo of him looking wistfully off into the distance appeared next to the message: " OMG what did you do?! CALL ME."

_Hendersonville NC_

Tyrion could have considered the foggy little mountain a quaint, scenic and possibly even a fortuitous stop, if, and only if he hadn't have felt so sick.

He bent his knees and braced himself again over the little patch of grass separating the gas station from an IHOP next door. The GPS had offered them a faster route around a traffic accident on the interstate and given Jamie's recent discovery of Tyrion's crimes and the sheer exhaustion starting to settle in the decision to take it. Nowhere did the GPS deem to mention it was a curving, switchback tour of the Appalachian mountains with extremely steep grading and very few places to stop. After Tyrion had lost his first taco out of the window due to the sway and the settling panic, Varys had lectured him for half an hour about eating better and bad habits while the man himself turned a pastel green color.

" Shut up you bisexual hairless freak."

" I'm not bisexual-"

" Oh fuck me-”

" Absolutely not-”

" No, I got a text from Cersei. ' The county coroner's office just called me, guess why .' Wow, Cers- it's a good thing I already know he's dead or I'd have to find out like this! Seven fucking hells… " A family with 2 small children stopped and stared for a heartbeat, then turned away quickly muttering as Tyrion lost another taco into the grass.

" Here. " Varys produced a bottle of water and Dramamine from the plastic convenience store bag. " Quickly before someone notes, we were here we're supposed to be blending in."

" It's going to make me sleep for the rest of the day."

" That's alright you aren't much better company when you're awake. At least this way I can listen to my book without you complaining."

" Is that a postcard? In the bag?" Varys pulled out a sky blue postcard with a bear in a straw hat with a pipe in its mouth.

“ I like postcards.”

“ I need a drink.” and he took 3 motion sickness pills.

_Savannah, GA._

Tyrion awoke alone, in yet another hotel room, though much nicer than the one he had found himself in the other night. He stretched his short limbs from his curled position and realized he was still using his black hoodie as a pillow. His head throbbed, back ached and as he rubbed his temples realized that Vary’s might have carried him from the car. Humiliation crept over him and morphing itself in the bitter anger. He crawled off the bed and opened the mini-fridge, stuffed the bottles from the minibar into his pants pockets except for the tiny cheap wine, which he twisted opened and finished in 3 swallows.

All the actual physical exhaustion had been chased from his bones and only left the emotional toll. He knew Varys would be gone for the whole night, probably only returning in the early morning hours to shower, sleep for a few hours and be ready to meet "his guy” Illriyo in Pentos.

Wandering out of the room, to the elevator and down to the lobby he discovered that the place had a gym and a pool. The pool would at least provide better scenery than the gym. The air outside was wet and stifling but Savannah was still mostly alive with light and the hum of traffic. The pool itself glowed a sickly violetele looking green color, but nothing and no one broke the placid surface. Settling himself in a plastic lounge chair he twisted open the mini bottle of Jack Daniels and swiped open his phone.

Shae’s face. Shae’s stupid pretty perfect fucking face. Rage and jealousy and love and hate and all sorts of half-assed lesser emotions all bubbled to the surface at once. Seeking more self-punishment he opened his pictures gallery and flipped through the countless photos of the two of them and ones he had snapped of just her.

He finally stopped at the one at the night they had met. Vary’s had invited him to some such show and afterward there had been an after party, crawling with a veritable mix of politicians, media, actors and performers. No doubt Shae and her friends Chataya and Alayaya had been there to try and catch another rung up on the later from strippers with pretty faces to something a little more lucrative. In this picture he was sandwiched between ‘Yaya and Chataya, their flawless ebony skin and shining dark eyes on either side of his half sloshed smiling face and Shae in his lap, long legs spilling over his short ones but looking like she fit there all the same. Miles of flawless golden skin on display for everyone, but by the look in her eyes, you’d think that maybe for a second, she actually loved him.

The time stamp on the picture read 2:05 am. They were always up late, Tyrion and Shae. Always keeping strange nocturnal hours, wreaking havoc into the night and going to bed with the sunrise. “ Why did you do it?” he asked the picture, which of course did not answer. But that was all over now.

Shae was dead and Tyrion was realistically looking at prison when eventually he got caught, or eventually fleeing the country and never seeing Jamie and Varys the only 2 people who ever gave a shit about him again.

He was sinking and she was the dead weight dragging him down.

_Fuck that. Swim Tyrion swim._

His phone. If they suspected him at all they could track his phone to this point. He hesitated, tossing it from hand to hand, throwing it in the pool at first then quickly snatched it out, looking around again and deciding on the nearby dumpster. With an anxious toss, it spun and crunched into the bottom of the dumpster. He immediately regretted it. But there was no getting it back even if he went in after it so in a slightly inebriated rage he threw his hoodie in and smashed all the mini bar bottles against the side. Looking for a sign, any kind of sign from any kind of higher power, he turned on the spot and screamed “ WELL WHAT NEXT?”

And just like that, the glow of neon caught his eye. A place called Littlefingers with a girl hanging onto a pole with the letter board below it reading

NOW OPEN LATE

_Pentos, FL._

The sun fried the asphalt beneath their feet and the cicadas screamed in the swampy woods surrounding the boarded up trailer. The front door had once had a circular glass panel in it had been kicked and from the amount of fading yellow police tape, one could only guess it had been a member of law enforcement who had done it. Several of the other windows had been broken, but not as cleanly. The grass and weeds in the yard grew taller than Tyrion and judging by there other surroundings, promised all kinds of nefarious wildlife teeming within it.

Tyrion took a loud slurp of his Big Gulp and looked up at Varys. " Illyrio Mopatis isn't home." He said serenely looking up over sunglasses to his friend. His black tank top read " What is PUMPED may never die" from a gym he used to belong too.

Varys pulled at his navy polo and fanned himself with his newest precious find; a postcard with an alligator in a tropical shirt in a hammock drinking out of a pineapple.” Love from Florida,” The outside looping text read.

Love indeed.

" Appears so."

" I hope he left before the cops showed up. "

Varys sniffed. " Is there vodka in that ?" He gestured to the drink.

" Cotton candy flavored. Delicious. "

" Yes, I'm sure its choice top-shelf liquor recommended from one of the lovely women you brought back to the room last night. "

" You guessed it. Well, what's next? Going to turn me in? Leave me in this God-forsaken swamp to die?"

Varys frowned and shook his head. " No. I have another idea, I'd have to make some calls, move some money around, do something to throw your wretched sister off my tail. It would involve a trip to Meeren, Texas."

Tyrion grinned. " By all means, let's go to Meereen. "

**Author's Note:**

> Much like a trained seal I thrive off treats and your applause. Let me know if you if you'd like a part 2.


End file.
